Caught–and stuck–in a ‘tight and sticky’ fix

Who knew something so embarrassing could happen to Playful Celebrity (PC)? While whispering sweet nothings to her Borrowed Man (BM) during sex, PC found herself in a “tight and sticky” fix when BM, apparently in reaction to unrelenting excitement, suddenly turned rigid.

And we’re not just talking about consummation of the libidinous sort, mind you. BM had a stroke even before he could finish what he started!

In a sudden state of panic, SS didn’t know what to do. So, she dialed the number of BM’s wife for immediate assistance, before the debilitating medical emergency could turn worse than it already was.

To cut a long story short, PC and BM were caught in flagrante delicto.

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There’s a downside to all this, of course: PC could no longer share more intimate moments with BM.

Is this something PC can simply charge to experience?

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

  • Maine Mendoza hakot queen: 3 trophy ang tinanggap sa 2019 Eduk Circle Awards. (Another award-giving body…)
  • Fashion style ni Maine inokray, glam team sinisi: Gawin n’yo namang mukhang reyna! (Did she look like an aliping namamahay?)
  • Megastar Sharon Cuneta payag magbuntis si KC Concepcion kahit walang asawa: Basta may apo ako! (What does she want? Immaculate “Concepcion”?)
  • KC halos hubo’t hubad na sa bagong litrato, puwet pinagpiyestahan sa socmed; hirit ni Gabby Concepcion: OK lang, kung ’yun ang gusto n’ya! (Cool dad.)
  • JK Labajo sa litrato nina Maureen at Shawn Mendes: Sorry, mas cute ako… (Must have ingested something.)
  • Boy Abunda nagpunta pa sa Japan para makachika si Angelina Jolie. (Lights on or lights off?)
  • Na-bash matapos ibandera ang amoy ng branded bag, Regine Velasquez sa mga taga-Payatas: I’m sorry po, pasensya na po! (Was it a different smell then?)
  • Caught–and stuck–in a ‘tight and sticky’ fix

    Gabbi Garcia

    Tambalang Gabbi Garcia-Gil Cuerva biglang pumatok sa viewers. (How? Why?)

  • Version ni KZ Tandingan ng “Isang Linggong Pag-ibig” hindi trip ni Imelda Papin. (Why? Did KZ’s version have eight days?)
  • John Lloyd tatlong taon nang dedma sa show biz, miss na miss na ng mga fans! (’Di nga?)
  • Ilang fans ni Kathryn Bernardo idedemanda ng tatay ni Nadine Lustre. (He’s fond of patola?)
  • Epy Quizon iniiwasang gumanap na lover boy: OK sa akin rapist, bading, kontrabida (Such an enviable wish list…)
  • “Male organ” painting ni Richard Gomez naibenta ng P196K. (Pricey little thing.)
  • Panganganak ni Mariel Rodriguez sa US binanatan ng netizen; Robin napamura sa sobrang galit: Magkita tayo kung may balls ka na! (Wow, plural!)
  • Win Gatchalian at Bianca Manalo, walang katalu-talo: May Win ka na, may Manalo ka pa! (Winner!)
  • Alden Richards may plano nga bang ligawan si Catriona Gray? (Nemen.)
  • Caught–and stuck–in a ‘tight and sticky’ fix

    Gil Cuerva

    Marian Rivera durog sa bashers: suhestiyon sa traffic crisis binanatan ng madlang pipol! (Nothing wrong with suggesting, is it?)

  • Kylie Padilla umaming dumaan sa matinding depresyon: Galit na galit ako! (So she’s angry when she’s depressed? Iba rin!)
  • Mark Bautista naging choosy sa pagpili ng dyowa: Nag-iingat lang ako… (Better safe than sorry.)
  • Aga Muhlach umamin: Hindi mawawala ang pagtingin ko sa iba, lalaki ako… (No excuses…)
  • Pelikula nina Nora Aunor at Maricel Soriano naetsapwera sa 2019 MMFF. (The first must have run out of rainbows, while the other must have run out of inheritance.)
  • Sigaw ng netizens: Sana’y silipin man lang ni Gretchen Barretto ang namayapang ama sa burol nito… (Sinilip na po; huwag pangunahan…)

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