Seo Kang-jun, Ahn Eun-jin share lessons learned from playing couple of 10 years

BANGKOK, Thailand — Lee Mi-do (Ahn Eun-jin) is a director whose career has remained on shaky ground despite a promising start, with setbacks even landing her in a legal dispute. Through the ups and downs, her childhood friend-turned-longtime boyfriend, Namgung Ho (Seo Kang-jun), has stayed by her side. For Ho, marriage seemed like the natural next step in their relationship.

But in their 10th year together, Ho and Mi-do begin to falter, especially when Mi-do finds herself drawn to another man, forcing the couple to question their future and setting the stage for the South Korean romance drama “A Love Other Than Yours.”

Playing a couple who have been together for a decade also gave the lead stars fresh insights into relationships. Kang-jun, for instance, described Ho as someone “who sacrifices a lot for Lee Mi-do,” but said the role made him realize that “giving everything to someone isn’t necessarily always the best thing.”

“Sometimes, taking care of yourself and being honest with yourself can actually be better for the relationship,” Kang-jun told ABS-CBN News during a group interview with select Southeast Asian media in the Thai capital, where he and Eun-jin took part in a series of promotional activities for the drama.

“In real life, when I love someone, I tend to want to do more for them. I also tend to hold back my complaints. But I learned that being a little more honest can actually help a relationship,” the actor said.

For her part, playing Mi-do taught Eun-jin “how grateful you should be to have someone so precious in your life” and “how difficult it can be to meet someone you love and maintain that relationship.”

“Maintaining that relationship shouldn’t be taken for granted — you have to keep making an effort. That’s how a relationship can continue,” she said.

The project also made Eun-jin realize the importance of not becoming too familiar with a romantic partner — something she said she would keep in mind if she ever found herself in a long-term relationship.

“They make mistakes by assuming that they already know everything about each other, and those mistakes end up damaging their relationship,” the actress said, referring to Ho and Mi-do.

“So I learned a lesson from that. I thought, ‘I shouldn’t do that. I should be really careful,’” she added.

Much like Ho and Mi-do themselves, Kang-jun and Eun-jin initially approached the characters as if they knew everything about each other.

“While we were acting, we approached the relationship thinking that the two characters knew everything about each other and understood all of each other’s feelings,” he recalled.

“But in reality, they didn’t actually know what the other person was truly thinking or feeling inside,” he said, adding that he thought such a situation must be “a huge misconception and mistake that we make in real life too.”

So how, then, can people in long-term relationships tell whether they are still in love or have simply grown comfortable with each other? Kang-jun pointed out that in such relationships, “love can be felt through excitement, deep trust, and comfort.”

“But I think another important question is how much you value that person. Even if, after 10 or 20 years, you no longer feel the same excitement, think about how you would feel if that person were no longer by your side, or if something happened to them,” he said.

“How deeply you value that person can be a sign of the kind of love that develops in a long-term relationship,” he added.

While the stars each have their own takeaways from the drama, they hope audiences will find their own, too.

“Through this drama, I hope viewers will have an opportunity to reconsider their own definition of love. I hope they can think about what kind of love they want whether it’s excitement, comfort, or familiarity,” Kang-jun said.

For Eun-jin, “As you watch the characters’ love and growth, you’ll see the choices they make, the results of those choices and the responsibilities that follow.”

“And as you watch one person’s growth, I think you may feel as though you’re growing together with them,” she said.

And while Ho and Mi-do may go through a rough patch in their onscreen relationship, the same cannot be said of Kang-jun and Eun-jin behind the scenes. The pair have filmed several playful — or “cute,” as one media colleague put it — clips together, which have since been uploaded to social media.

“One reason we decided to film those videos was that once the drama begins, a storm is waiting for the characters. So we wanted to show what their relationship had been like over those ten years and how they had once been such a loving couple,” said Eun-jin.

Between the two of them though, Kang-jun admitted to being “the one who gets [more] embarrassed” in filming the videos.

“I’m actually quite awkward when it comes to expressing myself that way. So I got a lot of help from Eun-jin. It was a new experience for me to try and take these videos,” he said.