Reaching children before extremists do: The fight against online grooming

MANILA — At 10 years old, Anne— not her real name—was still a child discovering the world.

But somewhere behind a screen, a man was already trying to shape hers.

In 2022, she encountered an online groomer for the first time. What began as conversations on the internet would continue for four years, exposing her to an ideology that glorifies hatred and, in its most dangerous forms, violence.

Anne, now 14, is sharing her experience to help expose a disturbing form of online predatory behavior: the grooming and recruitment of children into nihilistic violent extremist (NVE) communities.

The man she encountered was 40 years old, a foreigner from the United States who identified with neo-Nazi ideology.

“In-encourage niya po ako na gawin ito, na i-spread ‘yung Nazi ideology dito sa bansa, ganyan, parang magsimula ng sarili kong group, ganyan,” Anne recalled.

For a child, the consequences of such contact can be difficult to recognize, especially when dangerous ideas are introduced gradually through online conversations and communities that may initially appear welcoming.

Over time, Anne began to see how these online spaces could extend beyond discussions and threats on a screen.

“Noong una po mostly, sa online lang po sila nag-di-discuss, nag-te-threaten sila online, pero ngayon kasi po physical na po. Meron ng mga nangyayaring extremist violence, nihilistic extremist violence, ganyan po. Mga school shooting, mga students na nag-te-threaten ng mga school. So pag ganyan po, naaalarma na po ako,” she said.

Eventually, she reached a point when she was encouraged to bring a weapon and go to a particular location.

Asked whether she had ever been urged to do so, Anne answered: “Yes po, pero I declined the offer po nila. I just made up an excuse na busy po ako or something, then dinocument ko na lang po kung ano ‘yung nangyari doon.”

Her decision to disengage from the invitation offered a glimpse of the danger she had encountered—and of the importance of recognizing when online interactions cross into real-world threats.

The threat is not limited to the beliefs being promoted. It also lies in the way extremist communities communicate, conceal their intentions, and turn acts of violence into material for online audiences.

Independent journalist Regine Cabato, who has studied these online spaces, said some communities use specialized terminology that can make their activities difficult for outsiders and authorities to understand.

“May mga terminologies sila within these communities. Isa dito ang Larp or Live action role playing,” Cabato explained.

She said some nihilistic violent extremist (NVE) communities place a premium on the performance and livestreaming of extreme acts of violence.

“Isa sa mga aspeto ng NVE ay ang pagpapakitang gilas or ang livestreaming ng kanilang mga extreme acts of violence. So kumbaga, mase-scale ng violence ‘yung nangyari sa Zamboanga at Tacloban ‘yung pinaka extreme eh. Pero may aspect ito ng perfomativity hence may live streaming.”

“At ang livestreaming sa kanilang community currently importante ‘yan dahil nakakapagbigay ‘yun ng material, ng video at visual material sa community nila para makakapaggawa sila ng fan videos tungkol sa incident,” Cabato said.

The circulation of such material can give violent acts a second life online, allowing communities to turn real-world harm into content that attracts attention and reinforces their own narratives.

The language used by these groups can also make their activities more difficult to detect.

“Minsan tinatago nila ang karahasan sa ibang substitute words para maikutan nila ‘yung algorithm,” Cabato explained.

“So for example imbes na sabihin na may shooting na naganap, ang sasabihin nila ay he hugged his classmates, he gave a present to his classmate ganun at sa ganung paraan, hindi sila nahahagilap ng algorithm at hindi sila nase-censor.”

For parents and guardians, understanding these coded expressions and online subcultures may be an important step toward recognizing when a child’s digital environment has become dangerous.

But identifying the warning signs requires more than monitoring the words children use online. It also means paying attention to the lives they lead offline.

Psychiatrist Dr. Joan May Rifareal, current immediate past president of the Philippine Psychiatric Association, stressed that violent behavior cannot be attributed to a single cause.

“Ang violence kasi, complicated siya. It’s always an interplay of a lot of factors,” she said.

“Hindi ibig sabihin kapag tayo ay naglalaro ng violent games, magiging bayolente tayo… kasi maraming factors ang involved doon parenting, guidance ng lahat ng sector, sa school, sa bahay, kasama na rin kung merong mga psychological concern ‘yung bata, or any form of mental health concerns na maaaring yun ang mga risk factors.”

Exposure to violent content alone does not automatically make a child violent, Rifareal explained. Family guidance, the school environment, social relationships, and possible mental health concerns can all form part of the broader picture.

For parents, this makes early intervention particularly important.

Changes in a child’s behavior may offer clues that something is wrong, especially when those changes are persistent or accompanied by threats of violence.

“So kung parents, prevention na rin is always better,” Rifareal said.

“For example, siguro mas palagi na silang isolated, socially withdrawn, hindi na nakikipag-usap like before… o maaaring dati naman ay engage siya sa mga hobbies like sports, or active sa school, ngayon secretive na sila.”

She also warned parents not to dismiss threats simply because they are made online or appear to be jokes: “Mas maganda na pag-usapan agad at we take it seriously.”

Rather than immediately resorting to punishment, parents should make an effort to understand what their children are experiencing and create an environment where they feel safe enough to speak honestly.

For Rifareal, a child’s sense of self-worth and belonging can be a vital part of prevention.

“Parenting is very important. Yung feeling of maganda ‘yung tingin niya sa kanyang sarili, self esteem, self worth, validation as a bata, as an individual, love nakukuha niya from the people kasama niya sa tahanan, sa school, sa community para hindi nila ito hanapin sa online na world,” said Rifareal.

Cabato likewise emphasized the importance of balancing a child’s online activities with real-world experiences.

“Dapat may balanse ng online tsaka offline life ang bata kasi madalas hindi naman silang maghahanap ng ganitong… Hindi naman silang maaakit ng ganitong grooming or ng predatory behavior or online communities kung enriched sila sa mga offline life, kung okay ‘yung social life nila offline,” she said.

A child who feels connected to family, friends, school, and community may have more opportunities to seek help when an online relationship begins to feel threatening or manipulative.

Still, parents cannot carry the responsibility alone.

Schools are another critical line of defense, particularly when children begin exhibiting behavioral changes or struggle with bullying, isolation, and other problems that may leave them vulnerable.

Rifareal said schools need more trained professionals who can identify warning signs and help children access appropriate support.

“Meron sanang mental health professional sa mga paaralan, not just the psychiatrist kasi kulang kami,” she said.

“Currently nasa more or less 750 na board certified psychiatrist kami for our population of 120 million Filipinos so kulang talaga kung kami lang.”

The Department of Education (DepEd) is also seeking to expand support for students amid concerns about school-related violence and mental health.

According to the figures cited by DepEd, the Philippines has around 45,000 public schools but only about 1,000 registered guidance counselors.

To help address the shortage, the department plans to hire an initial 10,000 school counselor associates. These personnel would undergo intensive training and be deployed to priority areas, including locations with large schools or reported cases of school-related violence.

The initiative aims to strengthen early intervention, particularly in addressing bullying and other problems that may contribute to violence in schools.

DepEd Undersecretary for Operations Dr. Malcolm Garma said the program would help the department respond to concerns that could otherwise escalate.

“So this is where we would like to address yung number one, yung bullying natin because baka may attribution ng bullying with school-related violence and of course mental health issue,” Garma said.

“And we are very hopeful, very optimistic tayo that with the hiring of more counselors, particularly yung mga school counselors natin, we’ll be able to mitigate or minimize at the very least yung ating school-related violence so that kumbaga ‘yung mga red flags natin ay ma-address na natin as early as possible.”

More counselors could help schools identify students who need assistance before their problems develop into more serious situations. But the challenge goes beyond increasing personnel: students must also have trusted adults they can approach without fear of being judged or ignored.

In the fight against online grooming and violent extremism, recognizing a warning sign matters only if someone is equipped to respond.

Anne’s story raises an uncomfortable question: How does a child become vulnerable to an adult who wants to influence her beliefs, isolate her in an online world, and encourage her to take part in dangerous activities?

There is no single answer. But experts point to the need for sustained prevention that addresses the circumstances in which children spend their time, form relationships, and seek acceptance.

For Cabato, strengthening children’s offline lives is an important part of that effort. Online safety measures matter, but so do supportive families, meaningful friendships, healthy school environments, and communities where young people feel that they belong.

Parents and guardians also need to understand the digital spaces their children inhabit—not necessarily by becoming experts in every online subculture, but by maintaining open communication and taking troubling behavior seriously.

The aim is to intervene before online grooming develops into something more dangerous.

But prevention must also account for children who have already been drawn into extremist communities, including those who may have participated in acts that harmed others.

For them, the question is whether rehabilitation and change are still possible.

When asked whether children who have hurt—or even killed—other people can still change, Rifareal urged against giving up on them.

“Siyempre wag tayong mawalan ng Pagasa, lalo na sa kanilang age, hindi pa fully develop kasi ang brains. So kailangan hanapin natin ‘yung root causes kung ano ang mga posibleng mga factors which led them to that behavior,” she said.

She explained that clinical assessments can help determine whether a young person recognizes the harm caused, feels remorse, and is motivated to change.

Rehabilitation, however, is a process that requires sustained support and professional intervention.

“Kung may intentions na ganun and they feel na talagang all out also ang support ng family, ng community sa kanilang change kasi proseso yun, then yes. And then as doctors, we can do therapy which is talagang proseso ‘yun towards change. Tututukan s’ya,” she said.

Asked whether there was still a chance for these children to change, she reiterated her belief that recovery remains possible.

“Yes, tayo talaga we always say hope is always there, may pagasa lagi,” Rifareal stressed.

For Rifareal, addressing violent extremism requires a collective response—one that reaches beyond the individual, the family, or the school.

“Of course. Kaya whole of a nation approach talaga siya, not just the family, not just the individual, not just the school but of course sana ay may mga polisiya, programa ang government natin to make sure na lahat ng ating mga kabataan ay safe from any form of harm, be physically, psychologically, emotionally at mentally,” she said.