Fears immigrant women have in abusive situations
In my capacity as a family support counsellor, I often advise newcomer women who are abused by their partner. Today I want to dig deep into some of the fears and myths that make immigrant women particularly vulnerable to abuse.
Losing her children
One of the biggest fears among abused women, which makes them reluctant to leave the relationship, is the thought of losing her children. Some abusers verbally threaten their wives that he will get custody of the children if she tries to leave him. It is only when women share this fear to a settlement counsellor or community services worker that they understand that no one can get sole custody of children without solid evidence to prove that the other parent is unfit.
Being deported
Being deported is another common fear among immigrant women who are abused by their partners, who are also usually their sponsors. But, unless the woman is convicted of a crime in Canada, she can’t be deported, regardless of what the abusive spouse says.
Losing possessions
Another fear stopping women from raising their voice is believing they will lose the belongings or home they share with their partners. But, in a divorce in Canada, shared possessions and assets are divided pretty equally.
Money and status
Some women are afraid of the discrimination or disadvantages they might face as a single mom and losing social status. Or they may feel financially dependent on their abusive partner. The truth is there might be financial hardships and challenging times ahead, but there are also plenty of programs and support networks for single moms and women leaving abusive situations. Talk to a settlement counsellor for help!
Bringing shame to her family
In some cultures, immigrant women don’t leave abusive relationships because they will bring shame to the family or be cut off from relatives. A separation could also impact the prospects of other siblings who are not yet married. Unfortunately, there is little an immigrant woman can do to change the actions or beliefs of others. But she should understand that Canada is a country of freedom and equality, and this is her chance to identify her own strengths and gain confidence to live an independent life, even if that means she severs some unhealthy familial ties.