Doctor tells parents: Listen actively, use kind words when kids open up

Parents should be open to what their kids are sharing to them, especially if it is about a problem, by listening “very carefully” and “actively” and using kind words, a doctor said on Thursday.

National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Medical Center Chief Dr. Noel Reyes said children should be encouraged to speak up while assuring them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness.

Reyes also told parents to not dismiss their child’s sentiments and instead guide them in navigating their problems.

“We have to break the stigma. Kasi po kung sinabi natin agad na, ‘Nung panahon ko, walang ganyan. Mas matindi pa ang problema namin nung kami ay lumalaki.’ Automatic po na nane-negate ‘yung feelings ng bata. Therefore, hindi na po magsasabi ‘yan. Sa iba na po magsasabi,” Reyes said on state television PTV’s “Bagong Pilipinas Ngayon.”

“Ngayon, kung sa iba na magsasabi, hindi na natin maga-guide o hindi na natin mamo-monitor kung tama ba ‘yung mga advice na natatanggap nila,” he added.

The doctor noted that the pressures of the present and past generations are different: “Maraming pinanggagalingan ang mga pressure nila [this generation] in terms of self-identity, in terms of ‘yung kanilang self-esteem. Iba-iba po ang mga acceptance ng mga kaibigan nila sa kanila.”

Reyes pointed out that excessive social media use has negative effects on one’s mental health, based on studies.

He said it could increase one’s anxiety or put an individual at risk for depression due to “social comparison,” or comparing one’s self to what they see online.

Even real-world connections, Reyes said, may suffer as a person spends more of his or her time online.

The doctor advised the public to check in on their loved ones more often.

Individuals who are struggling may visit the NCMH for a free consultation, Reyes said, adding that prescription medicines and diagnostic procedures are likewise at no cost to the patient.